I don't know what to do... I love my bf so much but every time he kisses me all I can think about is what I did to him. I'm holding it together but barely,. When I'm by myself all ibdo is cry... I think I need to tell him but I'm scared at what will happen.... any advice on how I should proceed?
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You need to be a little more grown up than this, you say you hugged him and then you were in your room. So obviously quite a full on hug. Then had oral, obviously enough to consider cheating, imagine if your bf gave a girl oral?
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